I don’t even know where to begin… How about with a question? Why didn’t you fight back? Why did you just let me keep going and didn’t even try? All of it happened over text messages… why didn’t you call me? you always call me. always. what made this time so different? how could you just sit there and tell me “so do something about it”? seems like this time YOU are the one that gave up and YOU were the one who didn’t care. i loved you and STILL love you more than life itself. i’ve been told so far that i’ve done the right thing and it makes me feel better for a few minutes but it doesn’t last. i can rationalize what i did and i can justify it to myself but in the end i can’t seem to figure out exactly why i did it. i would love NOTHING more than for you to be standing in front of me right now just so i can scream and yell and get all of this frustration out so you’ll know EXACTLY how i feel about everything. i’ve missed you from the minute i said what i did. i’ve gone and turned my entire life upside down and now i don’t know which way is up. you were my guiding light and my voice of reason. a vision popped in my head earlier of you with someone else… i threw up. i can’t even stomach the thought of you moving on. i’ll never be able to. i can’t believe i was so unbelievably stupid to do what i did.
i just wish you would talk to me. text me. think about me. fuck this hurts so bad.
